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Spiritual & Relationship Lessons
from 9/11 – Newsletter May 2011
“High Alert, bring justice, we can never forget, blue
states and red, hunt them down and smoke them out, the war on terror, we won’t
stop until we get him, pat downs at the airport, Homeland Security, Code
Orange, 3000 lives, impeach Bush, those darn Republicans, those flaming
Liberals, the black president, yellow ribbons, no blood for oil, scandal,
inside job, relationship meltdown, bitterness, rage, disillusionment, a nation
divided in two…”
Did your stomach turn as you
read my opening paragraph? Mine
did! Regardless of your political
party, the last 10 years have brought up some primal responses of fear, hate,
retaliation, judgment and duality among most of us who reside in the United
States. In the aftermath of an
attack, it’s natural to go into survival mode. Even those of us who think we’re in the know respond to others whom we
perceive to be less insightful with anger and judgment. We blame someone. We create barriers between us (or our
groups) and other people. When we
feel victimized, our hurt can turn to rage and hate. To feel pain is human. But when we allow that hurt to turn into
rage and hate, we align with our perpetrators and our shadow comes to the
surface!
Reflect for a few moments
about the psychology of violence and cause and effect. There is a direct correlation
between poverty and violent crime.
There is a direct relationship between physical abuse in childhood and
becoming a perpetrator of violence.
There is higher rate of violence among groups that experience oppression
than those who do not. Anger and
sadness are two sides of the same coin.
Suppressed anger leads to sadness and suppressed sadness turns to anger
– unless
healing occurs.
September 11th
made us feel vulnerable. And as
such, the events brought out our primal responses of fear, retaliation,
projection and separatism. The political backlash and excessive use of mass
media added heat to the fire. In
the moment of immediate crisis, there were wonderful humanitarian acts that
occurred – both in NYC and around the world. Unfortunately, our collective consciousness prevailed in
trauma mode even among many people who were opposed to U.S. involvement in war
in the Middle East. Rhetoric
communicated by many “anti-war” advocates was often filled with venomous hate
for the “other” side.
It’s important to be aware
that 9-11 was the product of a build up of energy – like a volcano that erupts
after simmering for hundreds of years.
This “eruption” was not only political. It was a collective
representation of a need for evolution in many areas of human existence. The attack as well as the stock market,
housing and economic crashes that followed were all part of a catalyst for
change. Evolution of interpersonal
and societal human relationships and themes pertaining to human rights are also
part of this evolutionary process.
I’ve written many times
about how crisis is the platform for change. In other words, it has the potential to serve as a catalyst
for rampant growth and healing by purging out the darkest elements of our being
that may have remained latent for a while. We then have choice about what to do with those parts. Think about what happens not only in
the midst of a large scale disaster but also in your interpersonal
relationships when you feel emotionally abandoned or hurt by your loved
ones. Let’s face it, these
circumstances bring out our most childlike emotional responses and we’ve all
been there! Psychologically, I’m
talking about Narcissistic wounding.
Spiritually, I’m referring to a profound longing to feel connected to
Source/Spirit and the common belief that “God” is something outside of us.
Why do I raise the topic of
“abandonment,” you ask? Referring
to well researched theories about ego development and object relationships,
infants depend on a trusted, reliable caretaker to respond to enough of their
physical and emotional needs so that they can grow into adults who are able to
self-regulate emotional responses, trust themselves and form stable attachments
with loving, reliable others. But
since infants can’t communicate all of their needs clearly and eloquently and
no parents are perfect, we all have some degree of wounding in this area. Most of us manage to hold things
together well enough (through the development of healthy defense mechanisms)
but crisis causes us to regress to a more infantile response system. In addition to choosing partners and
friends, as adults we also have some degree of trust in our government and
overall sense of safety in the world.
In the midst of an attack or feeling that our elected officials are not
serving our needs well, we become angry and act out by returning to behaviors
that display aggression, mistrust, blame, disillusionment and duality.
So how do we heed the spiritual lessons of 9-11 both
collectively and interpersonally?
First, we must take an
honest look at our hurt. Then we
must go deeply within our own souls to find inner peace, compassion, and
love. Only from that place can we
can successfully turn to others for unity, support and more love.
When we transform themes
from our shadow selves, we evolve into beings with a greater capacity for
depth. The light of our souls and
the collective light in the universe therefore becomes more brilliant. There’s no way out of that
process. It is the way of the
world.
We must find enough love in
our own hearts so that we can receive love from others. In other words, do you
love and honor yourself as much as you want someone else to do so? Are you speaking words of integrity in
the same way that you want your government or loved ones to uphold this
attribute? Or are you focusing on
hate, anger, disappointment, and judgment? Are you willing to transform shame and blame into action in
your own life and within your own community? Are you willing to release an
attachment to the logistics around how things work out and focus your energy
instead on the feeling content of
them working out amicably, with fairness, and serving the Higher Good? Are you willing to take action in your
own life in a way that comes from a place of integrity rather than resentment
of others who abandoned your trust because they didn’t do what you expected
them to? Are you willing to consider
the possibility that God/Spirit is within you and that you are the power
to change rather than looking for some external force to change for you?
“Darkness
cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and
toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.... The
chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be
broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.” ~ Martin Luther
King, Jr.
How do these premises apply not only to
your social and political viewpoints but also to your sense of safety and well
being in the universe and to your relationships?
With an adamant vision of a brighter,
more peaceful and loving world, I send blessings.
Namaste`
Matthew~
Copyright Matthew Engel May 2011. All Rights Reserved.
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